Fluff and Toenails: Mainstream Media, Indie Opinion

Above all of the fluff and the toenails floats a melody, some rhythms, flickering pictures, a sensation to be had. Capture it in your computer, buy it on your high street or cram it in your senses from hijacked radio waves. Our subject is everywhere so let us pick at it like a favourite scab.

Monday will find me blogging on TV, Thursday on Film and the Weekends on Music.

Thursday, 27 January 2011

I should be talking about the Oscars I really should...But I'm not.

I could and probably should be blogging about the Oscar nominations and the strange absence of Chris Nolan from the best director category. I could, should but won’t. I will save this discussion for Oscars night.



Instead I am going to bore you with a favourite topic of mine, the infantilization and anti-intellectual prevalence of those programmes lauded by ITV. The looking glass for this post being this year’s British Television Awards.

Let us cast a casual eye over some of the categories, have a moan and maybe even suggest our own less popularist winners. (I have actually started this post without looking at either the winners or the nominees, poor journalism I know but I work for a company that prints the Daily Mail so I think some of its journalistic rigour has rubbed off on me… And now I have had a look at the nominations and the list is massive so I will instead just focus on the winners.)

Serial Drama: Eastenders

So the award went to the misery porn that is Eastenders. Apparently those in the know at the Olympic committee settled on London for 2012 after being locked in a room and subjected to the ‘enders. They then decided that London needed something to smile about so gave them the Olympics, little did they know that the Eastenders misery would spread to Coronation Street and Emmerdale this year and we would be now planning for a budget games with such events as pushing in the dole queue and hunting tax avoiders on hijacked horse back.

I declare the alternative winner for this category to be… Reading. Each day the TV is taken over by soaps for about 75% of the evening this is the perfect time to pick up a book, or to pick your nose or an STD or pretty much anything other than to watch telly.

Drama: Waterloo Road.

Watching Waterloo Road is like watching a greatest hits compilation of actors from the bill (RIP)and other long running soaps. Surely Being Human or Downtown Abby would have been more expected/deserving winners. But looking down the list cinematography and script really aren’t top of the criteria for whoever was voting.

Comedy Programme: Benidorm

Was this on again? I do quite like it when I sit down to watch it but not enough to regularly make time in my busy days. The stereotype of a Brit abroad does seem a little tired, that is until you visit Benidorm or where ever the middle aged hang out to eat steak and ale pie in 30 degree heat. Personally this year I would have given the award to The Inbetweeners for their three solid series of tongue in cheek cringe a minute humour. The Inbetweeners did win the digital choice award but I’m not entirely sure what that is.

Entertainment Presenter: Ant and Dec

My winner for this would have been an equally popular choice. I would have gone with Mr Dermot O’Leary whose sly knowing looks and wink and a nod charm showed intelligence above the format of and history of X-Factor. Ant and Dec are starting to look a little old and a little tired and for the life of me I don’t know why they are still so loved. What exactly do they do? How much of their scripts do they write? Do they act, sing, dance or do anything other than read half-heartedly off an auto cue and giggle to one another as they have another year spared the final celebrity indignity of appearing on the stinky side of the I’m a celebrity divide.

And Finally… Best Factual Programme: Top Gear.

What the fuck. It was clearly The History of Horror with Mark Gatiss, end of discussion.

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